I’m suffering from a bad case of The Mondays*. You know, when it’s not just a Monday, but it’s the Monday, when everything is going to go wrong, and it’s not even 10am yet.
Like that day when you came wide awake at 3 in the morning (having been having bizarrely normal dreams, that weren’t even interesting to reflect on), realized the heater was on for no good reason, and you had to go turn it off. And then you laid in bed for half an hour, wide awake, before finally getting up (quietly, so as not to disturb your significant other) and taking your book into the living room to read yourself to sleep. And when you finally start dozing off, an hour and a half later, you don’t actually feel sleepy, like “oh, being asleep will be so comfy!”, you just can’t keep your eyes open anymore. So you go to bed, and do fall asleep, and then all of a sudden the morning rolls around! Who signed up for this? And you prop one eye open to see how bright it is out, and realize you were dreaming about people who could turn into cats**, and then fall asleep again. When you finally get out the toothpicks (to prop your eyes open) and drag yourself out of bed, you feel so crummy that you don’t even want to make breakfast. But then you notice that your kefir is way over-kefired***, despite the fact that just 10 hours ago it was under-kefired†, and you decide that’s ok, it’ll still taste fine in a smoothie. And then you attempt breakfast, and then have to go lie down on the couch for an hour because you have no energy or brain function.††
Only then you’re trying to write an email to work, to tell them that you’ll be in late today, and then you remember that your phone hasn’t been syncing work email for a while (and even when it’ll pull email, it won’t send email, so people aren’t getting messages they should be getting, and you’re looking like a lame-ass), so you have to try half-a-dozen different mail apps to see if any will do better. And then you realize it hasn’t been syncing your work calendar to your phone’s calendar, which it used to do. And really you didn’t like the default mail app anyway.††† So you spend your hour on the couch with your phone (battery quickly draining), trying to figure out if anyone else has had this problem, and what they did to resolve it. And when you FINALLY get the thing working, it tells you that your company requires some crazy-strict restrictions on your personal phone, just because it’s connecting to work email–which you can almost understand, except that it gives power over your phone to some random geek who might push the wrong button and wipe out your phone‡. But you accept the bizarre restrictions anyway, and wonder if that’s why your email hasn’t been working for all these weeks. And then your phone’s battery dies.
Or maybe those things don’t happen to you? And really, it could’ve been worse. The world could’ve exploded. I might have needed to be in right early, and too bad that I was brain-dead. (And hey, I seem to have gotten my brain back.)
It’s still The Mondays.
* Yes, I just made that up.
** That was pretty cool actually. The human/cat in question was able to walk over the (very hilly) highway 92 that I take to work every day, which is 8 miles long^, in just an hour. Why it was doing that… I forget.
^ Right, it’s actually lots longer than that, but my section is about 8 miles.
*** In other words, it had been sittingout for about 48 hours, and had completely separated into whey and a thick, solid layer of soured milk.
† Still sloshy like milk, not thick like yogurt. And it might have been longer than 10 hours ago, but it sure didn’t feel like it.
†† But at least the neighbor’s cat came over to keep you company.
††† It wouldn’t zoom in or out on the email body, and if the email was too wide for the screen, you couldn’t make it scroll over to see the rest. Seriously?
‡ I’m a geek, I know how these things go.