Seriously, only 300 new words? A whole new scene and it’s only 300 words? Bah.
I figured out what was wrong with my scene yesterday: no conflict. It’s simply, these are the things that happen. Nothing is at stake, no one argues with anyone else. And conflict is what makes things interesting. But I don’t know how to fix it yet.
Also, I really don’t know what Allie should be doing. Despite continued efforts, she’s still broody. (Not quite angsty… I haven’t had her cry once in this version.) I think she I may have to leave her alone for a while, because she’s really not where the conflict is right this moment.
Maybe I can figure out what Fen and Jonas are doing next. *And* spend a bit of time (off-screen) paying attention to Allie to figure out who she really is.